“My Mother May Not Have Raised Me, But I Did Learn Some Of The Best Life Lessons From Her.”Lajeana Hurst
I received a call early in the morning. I was cleaning the house while the kids were up in the nursery. Kai was watching Baby Signing Time while Wy was sleeping. “I think Mom has passed, but I am not sure.”, my adopted Mom called to tell me.
We knew it was coming. The night before I had sat by her bed, her giving the TV the death stare. (When someone is about to pass they will come in and out of a coherent state. Kinds like they are sleeping with their eyes open.) She was watching Hells Kitchen, something we liked to watch back at my place. I wanted to play our song for her one more time. ” You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban. When I played it, she snapped back into our world and she looked at me like she really saw me. I told her that if she needed to go, that I was ok with it. I no longer wanted to see her suffer in pain.
That day we had moved her from her regular mattress to an air mattress that would help her be more comfortable. As we moved her she was in so much pain. I didn’t want to see her like this, she was already so frail.
I had brought both of the kids in for her to hold. Then we went to my brother’s football game, then back home to put the kids to bed.
My adopted Mom (who is also my biological sister) was a nurse, I figured she knew when someone had passed. She was a pediatric oncology nurse for quite awhile. I am sure she didn’t want to face the truth of our Mom finally being gone. She knew her far better than I did. I told her to call me when she knew.
I went out to mow the lawn. I received another phone call from her saying Mom had passed. I don’t know how I felt. I remember my brother coming to drive me and the kids to my Moms’.
On the way I called my Mother in Law and she took care of The American Red Cross for me. My husband was in Iraq and I wanted him to know that Mom had passed. He was due to come home soon anyway, but this sped up the process by a few days.
When we arrived, I didn’t go up to her room right away. I knew the funeral people would eventually be there so I did go see her. As I stepped into her room, I had to back up. The air in the room was gone. I no longer felt her presence in her body. It’s a strange feeling. I had my daughter in my hands and couldn’t move forward. My mom took her from me, and asked if it was ok for her to say Goodbye. I agreed.
Kai’s one person in her whole year and a half of life was that woman who would never be able to hold her again. So I was not going to deny her to say goodbye, even if she wasn’t in her body.
I went back downstairs and started sweeping. The people from the funeral parlor came to take her body and I never shed a tear. I knew this was what she and God wanted. She decided to stop her cancer treatments so that she could meet our Lord.
It was Halloween after all and we decided to go ahead and take the kids trick or treating. Kai was Abby Cadabi from Sesame Street and Wy was a little tiger. We had fun that night. I went home, put the kids to bed and my friend Traci came over. It was late but she came over anyways to watch a movie. The Virgin Suicides was on, so why not! It was Halloween.
I believe that was the first time I let out any tears. They weren’t that she was gone, they were for the memories I wasn’t going to be able to make with her. It’s a long story of how she even came back into my life.
Two days later, after returning home from deciding my mother’s body’s fate, Nate arrived home. Guess you don’t realize how strong you are until you are a military wife. Nate has been gone for 9 months! Missing the birth of his child, the dying process of my mother in law, and then of course her passing. He was never able to say goodbye.
There will always be a story to tell about Mom, and I am hoping to be able to share the good ones with my readers. She was a great woman, a loving Christian, who loved her children very much! Stay tuned to learn more about my Mother, Jeanne.
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